The Young and Childish Challenge

Now a days theres a challenge for everything. Theres the “Cinnamon Challenge”. Theres the “Ice Water challenge” and the “money save challenge”. The most recent one I have seen happens to probably also be the most useless and least entertaining, The “Grown and Sexy” Challenge. After seeing that one I decided that many of the challenges were pointless and really not understanding the definition of the word challenge. I guess its fun and people want to make themselves feel good so I just watched them have their fun. I did think it was a ridiculous trend though. So, in my usual response to things that I find pointless or irrelevant I decided to mock it.

Thus… The “Young and Childish Challenge” Was born.

Silly X

The Young and Childish photo. You gotta have fun with life. Don’t take it too serious. You’ll never make it out alive.

 

I decided I would post a bunch of silly photos to mock the “grown and sexy” posts. It wasn’t really a challenge and that was the point. Then I got the idea

“What if I actually challenge these people to do something good?”

“What if I got them to do something good out of this? To help someone out…”

So I added something to my post. I want to challenge everyone to post their silly pictures to post embarrassing photos of them selves showing a joyful, youthful exuberance. Along with that to donate funds or time to volunteer for a charity or non profit organization of their choosing. This is the type of challenge I think we need. Something that gives at least two reasons to smile. The silly photos and the smiles from those receiving assistance. Its a challenge I can get behind. So I am.

I want to officially declare “The Young and Childish Challenge” is open to all. If you are brave… Let me see your silly faces, your crazy costumes, Your embarrassing hair and corny clothing. I want to see those great smiles and playful gestures. Then I want to see your commitment to the challenge. Help those in need volunteer time or a donation to a charity. Since this is “The Young and Childish Challenge” lets focus on charities or organizations that help and support the youth. We are gonna need the youth of today to be great tomorrow so let us help to do our part to make it happen.

The rules are:

  1. Post a picture featuring you in a fun “young and or childish state of mind” on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Google+ etc.
  2. Use one or all of the hashtags: #YoungandChildishChallenge #YACChallenge #YoungAndChildish
  3. Find a Charity/non-profit supporting youth/children and volunteer time and/or Make a donation.
  4. Tag your family and friends to challenge them to do the same and make a commitment.

I have researched organizations and charities and I have chosen that my next one that I will be donating and volunteering to assist will be The Alexander Youth Network. The Alexander Youth Network is an organization that supports and provides programs for children with emotional and behavioral challenges. This is an area that kind of hits close and it helps children so I felt it was a right fit. For more information please click on the link above and check out other programs below.

Lets make this go viral! Lets get the world in on it and see how much we can do for the youth and the future of our planet!

Volunteering

Give back to the children. For them and for us.

We Can Be Heroes

Feed The Children

Boys and Girls Club

Save The children

St. Judes

Make A Wish Foundation

Salvation Army: Center of Hope

Volunteer

Volunteer

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Love?

So you all will have to bear with me a moment. I’m going to have a “Mushy” moment. I’m a single man. There’s a reason for it obviously. I have met my share of women of all forms and shapes and types. I know people look at me and say “You’re a great guy” and expect me to be in a relationship or at least dating more than I have been. I am a hard working, dedicated, humble, and attractive man. I don’t know if every woman I know realizes that but thats not necessarily for me to be concerned with. I also don’t feel that I should have to promote it. I feel the proper woman will notice and love and appreciate it. That isn’t what this blog is about. This one is about how I feel about love.

I know its popular to shun love. Its a headache and causes pain and stress. While that may be partly true, the other side of it is so amazing. I honestly welcome love. That person that can make nothing seem like absolutely everything. I would love to be with that woman that I can talk to without saying a word. I want my love to be spoken in every language not spoken. I want to communicate with our own gestures. I want to hold intimate conversations with physical touch. Tell inside jokes with with small looks and smiles. AND SMILES… I don’t know if theres a greater feeling than being in love with someone who is so in love with me that she has the biggest grin from ear to ear because of me. My love should embrace her and she should wear it. She should dress in it and it should look amazing on her. My love will be a glowing gown that she will proudly dress in and show off.

Love is a risk but its a beautiful risk and feeling. To be in love is to truly feel weightless. People use the term “fall in love” but I know having that person that you make smile just by simply being you and loving her feels like Im flying. Like filled with so much positive energy power that you just soar off the ground. To have that person that you think about and just smile is shot of adrenaline to push you to the highest heights. When you touch it feels right like when two wires cross and complete a circuit. you’re no longer two but one. You’re so close you almost share minds. You share jokes with each other that you know that you will both laugh at. When your love is there, you JUST KNOW!

Being in love is tough. Being in love is going away from your mate and then loving when you come back because it is the bonus end to your trip. Being in love is being right next to that person but because you can’t romantically be with them they feel a billion miles away. Even when they completely piss you off and you walk away you wouldn’t rather have anyone else do it and you don’t want to be away too long. You’re best friends. You’re a match. It feels right. When you love truly you realize that you don’t sacrifice for that person because you realize they are the most important person to you.

I have been in love. I have experienced loving everything about her, even what I hadn’t before. Even what made me mad. I am able to love and appreciate her tenacity or stubbornness or self-consciousness. Love is finding what would be flaws and falling in love with them. When looking at others she isn’t as attractive because she doesn’t have those beautiful flaws. My love was always built on shared experience. I love when we can spend a night just hanging around watching an old shared favorite or discovering a new favorite feels like the time of your life.

Some people run from love. Ill embrace it and I’ll know when it is there. Im single until it is there. I don’t take it lightly. I’ll be here when it finds me or I find it. I feel like I still haven’t accurate expressed all of my feelings or opinions on love but true love would have me writing this forever. Thats what true love is a never ending series of new stories and experiences.

X

Cultural Suicidal Genocide.

I have been thinking a lot about suicide lately. I dont mean me killing myself or wanting to commit suicide but rather recent events. Specifically Young men killing themselves. A few months ago Yusef Neville, Whom I did not know personally but many of my friends had committed suicide. From all accounts he seemed to be a well-adjusted, very popular, healthy, loved man in the prime of his life. Yet he decided to end it. The same can be said of Lee Thompson Young. he committed suicide as well. Now I’m not any expert on mental health or social issues. What follows are just my thoughts and experiences. I am a young black/Latino male. I wont even claim to be an expert at that. All my views will be coming from such though. My hope is that someone reads, listens, understands what we have, what we are doing to each other.

I think we are a danger to ourselves more than anyone else. We are damaging to ourselves without ever knowing it. the way Men/Black men are treated by our community/culture is damning. We say things and think nothing of it. We put pressure on men that we find acceptable and pass judgment on each other without remorse or regard. I sometimes am depressed. I do my best to wake up in the best of moods. I enjoy that I can go to sleep with whatever anger or sadness I feel and wake up and wipe it away. I pride myself on that. I know how unhealthy for me it is to carry anger! Grudges! HATE! I cannot live like that. I do get angry. I do get mad. I do have moments of pain. I have times where I just want to talk about something that makes me sad. But I do my best not to hold on to those. Below is a quote from a man that was scared to make this public.

I feel alone. I feel I have the weight of the world and valueless. I’m not worth it to you. I’m not worth it to anyone… I’m amazing. Why are people okay with me not being in Their lives? I can’t share anything with anyone without being judged. I try so hard to make myself valuable to me. And I feel like I have some inflated sense of self. I’m not self hating or a masochist. I don’t think I’m worthless. I don’t think I deserve to be unrecognized.

I think it’s ridiculous how a man can’t show this to anyone or be vulnerable… Because a man doesn’t do that. If you like someone you cant Show or tell someone you like them. You cannot try to woo her and buy her flowers on a first date or call her throughout the day or Send her good morning texts every morning. A man shouldn’t be trying so hard. He basically has no control in the situation because if she likes you she will accept that if she doesnt like him She will call him “thirsty” or annoying. This to me seems like a woman’s issue but the blame gets placed on him. Many times instead of responding and saying that she isnt interested in dating him or anything serious she will ignore him/cut him off or brush along with slight pleasantries… In hopes that this almost stranger will connect with her mind, thinking and understand exactly what she is wanting from him or wanting him to do.

A man should be strong. A man should man the fuck up and just deal with these things. I hear a lot of people talk about what you can’t control and deal with and accept. You can’t control if a woman cheats on you so you just deal with that. But by “deal with that” we don’t mean bother with searching for answers because that just causes problems for other people. And according to popular opinion Other people dont care or want to hear about your problems. Problems are negativity and everyone is about avoiding negativity. You know it’s true because there is an internet meme which provides scientific fact that 20% of People dont care and 80% are glad you have them.(Please read that with every ounce of sarcasm I typed it with). By deal with it we mean internalize it… But you shouldn’t do that because that’s unhealthy. It’s okay for a man to let it out…Cry just only if he already has a supportive mate or friends or family that will let him feel comfortable enough to cry. Even still then they get to judge what’s worth crying over.

We live in a society where being nice is a bad or weak thing. Where thinking first is not the “real” thing to do. In conflict you should just react. Punch that guy in the face if he approaches you wrong… If he says something you dont like and you dont immediately attack him or get aggressive, “you aint real”. We are killing ourselves. Collective suicide. We call men bitches if they show emotional vulnerability. Equate men to females when they share feelings or talk about how depressed or sad they may be. We dont know whats wrong with these men. We say it without any regard or remorse. We dont think what this man may be going through. A man gets mad or becomes agitated with a situation and becomes passive aggressive/hostile without physicality, he’s referred to as “being on his period.” Damaging!!! You dont know these demons that people face. If he doesnt have a large group of friends or doesnt go out to clubs, He’s boring or depressing. “Introverts are strange and lonely weirdos”. Comic book/Superhero fans are “lonely nerds” If hes ugly he’ll never get a pretty girl to love him for him. Just his money. Because Honestly every woman on the planet is shallow.(More Sarcasm) If he’s lightskinned he’s soft/Weak. If he’s dark skinned he’s dirty and uneducated.

PEOPLE WE ARE HURTING, DAMAGING, DESTROYING OUR SELVES AND WE DONT GIVE A SHIT. We take more opportunities to laugh at and judge someones choice in clothing. We will claim we arent judgmental because oh everyone makes mistakes and sins yet we judge the person that doesnt as an over acheiver or boring. We decide that someone who constantly seeks perfection isnt enjoying life or is drag. We laugh at the poor and less fortunate. Hate and alienate homosexuals. We tease with Malicious intent. we care more about the lives of Celebrities than our neighbors. We cant stop bullying among kids because we cant stop bullying amongst ourselves.

Cherish the people in your lives that are good to you and provide good for you. Be respectful of people. Take time to actually understand why someone may feel the way they feel or be upset. Understand that because someone has a problem they choose to share with you it doesnt have to be your burden. You can listen and understand and be there for someone without feeling like it drains on your life. HELL you damn near do it now. You read about and watch celebrity lives and problems and you ENJOY it. You wait for it week after week and you post about it on Facebook twitter and instagram. Why is it so hard for you to do it for a friend?

Listen to understand not to reply. Maybe you will save a life.

Curtis Martin: Someone to admire.

It’s no secret that one of the people I look up to the most, possibly more than anyone is Curtis Martin. He is a former Jets player who was recently inducted into the Pro-Football Hall of Fame. Yesterday was his birthday and I have always respected this man. Not just because he was a Jets player, but because he is a man who believes in doing the right thing. He has made over $40 Million and is so incredibly humble. He’s a man that doesn’t hold grudges and wouldn’t want you to hold one. He works to help those that are not as privileged or blessed. He fights a rigorous fight to help the homeless. He is a dedicated man that always worked hard to accomplish goals. His main goal is to inspire more people to be as humble, to help out those in need.

I got to meet him almost two years ago and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I was always a Curtis Martin fan. Since my young days as a Jet fan. My introduction to the Jets was about 1995 during terrible years for the Jets. I was just a casual fan who rooted when the game was on and really never gave much thought to what happened after.  When Curtis arrived my passion for the Jets that many see today came with him. I became a die hard.  I loved watching him play. I wanted to find out more about him. These were in the younger days of the internet so information wasn’t readily available but once it was I would read all about him. I watched sports shows hoping they would mention Curtis and the Jets. I got to see the non-football side of him and all the great and charitable things he was dong. I was ecstatic in 2004 when he beat out Shawn Alexander by one yard to win the rushing title. I was disappointed when his string of consecutive 1,000 yard seasons to start a career came to an end. And down right heart broken when an injury forced him to retire. I knew he was going to the hall of fame and I knew I would have to wait five years but I also knew that when it did happen… I was going.

As I said I got to meet him two years ago. Curtis was elected into the Hall of Fame in January of 2012. From the time they announced his name I started making plans to go. Leading up to the event I had to wait on tickets to go on sale. I wanted as many chances as I could get to see him. I bought tickets to the Jacket presenting dinner. I bought a tickets to a round table luncheon and the enshrinement ceremony. My most prized ticket though was to an autograph session to meet all of the enshrinees and get autographs. When the weekend came I rented a car and hit the road. I drove to canton and went to the dinner it was an awesome ceremony where the enshrinees are presented with their HOF jackets. I didnt have the best view from my seat but it was awesome nonetheless. The next day was the parade and this is when I got my first close up view of Curtis and he noticed me after I gave a huge Jets chant.

He looked Right at me and pumped his fist to my Chant!

He looked Right at me and pumped his fist to my Chant!

After the Parade I went to explore Canton a bit and get ready for the Enshrinement Ceremony. This again was another great experience. While waiting to get in a bus pulls up with many former Hall of Famers and NFL Legends. I saw so many from Gayle Sayers to John Madden. From Shannon Sharpe to Joe Willie Namath. I got to shake a few of their hands and heckle Dan Marino a bit.  Then the ceremony started. I sat through and listened to the other enshrinees read off their speeches in what felt was an uncomfortable state for them. After every speech I would get anxious and hope that Curtis was next… But Each time they made us wait. Though during that waiting everytime I got excited and thought Curtis was next I’d stand up and cheer. That apparently caused me to get a few texts and tweets telling me that was just seen nationwide. I ended up being shown on ESPN and NFL Network.

Look Ma! I'm on TV. ESPN

Look Ma! I’m on TV. ESPN

 

Curtis was last to speak and was that a great decision. His speech was filled with so much. It call came straight from the heart. He told what would have made for an awesome movie. He filled it with humble beginnings, Comedy, Joy, Pain, Loss, gains and life lessons. There were moments that you couldnt help but feel emotional and a deep connection as he bared his soul with intimate details of his father’s abuse of his mother and the murder of his grandmother. You couldnt help but laugh when Curtis he spoke of Bill Parcells’ Parcelisms. We were inspired when he spoke of his near death experiences growing up in Pittsburgh. The speech was truly the greatest enshrinement speech I had ever heard and I sometimes listen to it again to provide inspiration. Anyone who would like to see this speech can see it here.

After the ceremony the guys that I was hanging with for the weekend ran into Curtis’s pastor. He was the one that encouraged Curtis to stay in the NFL and inspired him to use it as a vehicle to do the amazing, wonderful and inspirational things he wanted to do.  Curtis took this advice and used football to reach people. His pastor told us the story of the conversation.

The next day was the big day, the day I meet Curtis Martin face to face. I wanted to express to him how much of an inspiration he had been to me and that he accomplished more than just the goal of being inducted into the hall of Fame. I wanted him to know that he accomplished the goal of inspiring someone to be a greater person. I knew I wouldn’t have much time to express this so I wrote him a letter. Before the autograph session there was a round table luncheon. The meal was actually pretty good and my table was pretty close to where the players would be sitting for the discussion. When the discussion had ended the players posed for pic and then headed out to the Hall of Fame for the autograph session.

Dapper as always

Dapper as always

After the luncheon I raced down the road to prepare for my meeting. The meeting was at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The line was long. But I patiently waited. I got closer and closer and I became more and more nervous. I know I had to capture this moment though. I took several pictures and videos while I traversed the red velvet lined path toward the Hall of Fame players. The inductees were at a long table in row. I stopped at each player and had them autograph HoF book I had picked up earlier in the weekend. I congratulated them and walked on. When I began to approach Curtis I handed my camera to the guy in line ahead of me to take a picture of the moment.  I reached out my hand to shake Curtis’s and he grabbed it firmly and shook. I told him how much of an honor it was and how he has inspired me. I then showed him my two jerseys I had brought and asked him which does he think will be better to sign. I could only have him sign one because I only bought one ticket (Which were $300 a piece). He suggested that he could sign the white one and it would show better on that. I handed him the jersey and then pulled out my letter. I explained to him why I wrote it and why he meant so much. He took the letter and thanked me. He then asked for my other jersey and signed the other jersey. I was so humbled by this act. He then handed me the jersey and said he would read my letter as soon as he got back into the car. Before I walked away I shook his hand again and he gave me something that stuck with me. He told me “Keep Pressing!”. It was advice to not give up to keep working hard and not to give up. I keep those two words with me and they empower me when I faced with struggles.

 

Definitely an amazing moment.

Definitely an amazing moment.

After the meeting I got to tour the hall of fame! I was on a high the entire time. Not only did I meet one of my heroes but I was surrounded by football greatness. So much rich history was in the atmosphere. I was flooded with memories of previous seasons and players. To think of all that played the game, imagine the impact you had to have made to be exclusive enough to make it here. I think I spent a good twenty minutes in the bust room. I spent at least 7-8 at Curtis’s Bust. I wasn’t ready to go. I had to leave though. I had a long drive back home.

was powerful

was powerful

The drive that felt like forever coming up felt so short going back. I was still on my high. I thought of all the amazing moments of my weekend and how I would use the two words Curtis left me with to impact my life and others. The first I used it with was to lose weight and get healthier. “Keep Pressing!” When I’m in the gym that would keep me going. I used that to make it through. It helped. I’m 45 lbs lighter than I was in that picture. I use it today to try to make an impact. It’s what gets me to keep giving back and to keep volunteering. Its what gets me to press for societal changes that will make us better. I think we can all benefit from this. I think we can all use motivation to continue to push through trials. So from Curtis Martin through me to all of you I say… KEEP PRESSING!!!

 

My Jerseys

My Jerseys

Meeting the Man

Meeting the Man

FouseyTube

Hey all. Its kind of late but I wanted to at least get one blog post out. I’ll try to make this a short one since many of mine have been pretty lengthy. But I just wanted to share something/Someone I discovered late last year that I think is awesome and does some awesome things. Some of you may be familiar with FouseyTube. If you aren’t then I’m sending this post out to you people. FouseyTube is the YouTube channel of Yousef Erakat, a young Palestinian-American entertainer.

His channel is loaded with his video blogs or Vlogs They are mostly comical. I love going to his channel and laughing at his pranks or his crazy antics. His videos in my opinion are pretty hilarious and a great way to pass some time if you have time to pass.

While his comedy videos do entertain me, I am bringing this to more people’s attention because his “other” videos. These are the videos that are awesome and I think more of what the world needs to see. He has videos that are made to inspire change. They’re videos made to provoke thought. These videos may be videos to showcase societal ailments or failures. Sometimes they are just videos of him doing something good for others.

The world could always use more acts of goodwill and something to inspire us to do this. He posts videos of him pretending to bully people and watching as barely anyone lifts a head or hand or heart to help. It shows how sad we can be as a society and showcases opportunities for us to improve. I applaud you Yousef and thank you for your efforts. I encourage everyone to check out his channel at FouseyTube   YouTube.com/fouseyTUBE

Stop Praising “Relationship Gurus”

So I have been seeing a lot of relationship advice tossed around Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. You know, the memes and quotes and the all of that good stuff. There’s also these so-called relationship gurus. I don’t know what qualifies someone as a relationship guru but I suppose some people my have great advice to offer. Then… Others under the guise of advice offer advice that is just wrong or damaging. One particular piece of advice I have seen recently is “Stop praising boyfriends”.  Now immediately I thought to myself “This is awful advice this must be satire or sarcasm”.

I then listened to the video that accompanied the quote… Because who would I be to criticize it without actually seeing the explanation behind it. The video goes on to explain that “Men” (which I’m assuming refers to all adult males of the human species since there was not any specificity made.) get complacent and that giving a man that is a boyfriend the “benefits of a husband” like cooking, washing his clothes or having a certain type of sex leaves us no reason or incentive to marry a woman. It then goes on to talk about how if women are singing our praises and posting us up on Instagram or Facebook that all they are doing is advertising us to other women and sending other women to us. In the same breath of that sentence the gentleman goes on to imply that unless the man is a devout christian or Barack Obama or the pope basically we are going to cheat on her or leave her for those other women. Well way to go by telling women basically the only value they have as or to be wives are cooking and cleaning and sex and other “Husband Benefits”. Afterward he goes on to say that if a woman gives that boyfriend everything of her and works hard to be with someone, that she does not value herself. He says that that makes men think a woman is thirsty. The video then continues as I sit there in a state of confusion and disbelief. He says then that if men want you, they should be working hard and posting pictures of you on Instagram and Facebook and like places. He says that men should be singing women’s praises. He says that if you do this you will be definitely be single or cheated on in six months to a year. He begins to close with clarifying that he doesn’t mean don’t tell the man he’s a good man but don’t tell the world. He says that if you have been dating six months to a year women shouldn’t be doing this or practically at all until they are married or engaged. He then goes on to reiterate the lack of self-respect this shows. He closes out by listing his qualification to speak on the subject. He’s been married 7 years. Apparently this is how his wife did these things and that is why he married her.

Now I understand that this man probably means well but I hate the fact that this message is spreading like wildfire and that women are taking to it. People find it legit advice because he’s a married man. Thats something that does make me upset. People tend to think that having a relationship makes you a relationship expert or that not being in a relationship means you know nothing about relationship. I disagree one for the fact that you can be in a relationship and just be terrible at it. I know people that are always in relationships that would be the last people I would take relationship advice from. There are those that realize how important and meaningful relationships are and don’t take them as lightly and wait for something genuine and true.

Now on to my point of this blog post. I think this message “Stop Praising Boyfriends” is ridiculous for a number of reasons. I feel that it is hypocritical, perpetuates idiotic stereotypes, causes divisiveness between men and women, offers a damaging view of value of women and forces poor relationship choices. Women, if you have a good man treat him as such. Everyone likes to be acknowledged for things they feel is right. Some may not want it publicly but at least a bit of recognition that they are doing well or that their efforts are noticed. People deserve to be recognized for doing good. You shouldn’t do it or not do it to try to illicit a certain behavior or manipulate thoughts or actions from them. The problem with the world is that we don’t praise or respect enough good deeds. The problem today is everyone is scratch my back Ill scratch yours and tit for tat.You want to post the negative stuff that someone may do but not the positive? There’s nothing wrong with praising a man or anyone for doing great things regardless of your relationship to them.  If this extra attention to them comes in the form of the opposite sex, GOOD! In the video he explains this will lead to women going after the man. Maybe this will actually inspire women to find a decent man of their own. Show that there are good men out there and that they are much better options than the assholes or useless men that they have been attracted to. If one of them were to try to coerce your significant other, the way I see it that will show you if you should be marrying that person or not.  If they fall victim to the temptation then you know that you shouldn’t even want them to marry you. They overcome it or shut it down then you know you may have a keeper.

I think that it is ridiculous to state that all men are the same or that men will only marry a woman to get “extra benefits”. If a man wants to marry a woman he will propose. It’s disgusting that someone believes that a man has to be a super christian or devout man of faith just to find value in a woman. I’m a man and I don’t or wont do any of the things he accused a man of doing. I’m not any of those things he accused a man of being. I wouldn’t be complacent because a woman is treating me right or giving me her all or showing me all that she has to offer. I also am not leaving a woman or cheating on her just because other women throw themselves at me. I’m definitely not the pope or Obama. I’m a man. A man with respect…   A man marries a woman because he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. I know that in order for me to propose to a woman, I have to know her implicitly. I cant pledge to spend my life with a woman who hasn’t given me all of her or shown me all she has to offer. So if a woman is showing or telling me that she will do certain things after I marry or propose to her that sounds like a trap. Have you ever seen a lion promise not to eat a sheep? If it had, would you recommend the sheep still enter the lions den? Now if you had seen that lion living amongst sheep for years and not eating one, you would feel more comfortable leaving the sheep with the lion.  This also contributes to poor marriage rates. A woman forcing a man to marry her by withholding certain aspects of her or her personality or behavior leads to a marriage that may not have supposed to happen. If he’s marrying a woman to get “husband benefits” then he may not be marrying her for the right reasons and this leads to failed marriage and divorce. This is probably why the divorce rate is so high. False expectations are being set and people are jumping into situations they were not ready for just to get extra benefits instead of taking time and getting to fully know and understand and appreciate each other.

It is also hypocritical because women always want men to sing their praises and publicly announce their love. Most women feel if a man doesn’t do this that he is hiding her or trying to keep her a secret. So why should it be different from the other side? In the video he says that a woman shouldn’t have to work hard to show she likes a guy or to try to get keep a guy. He says that this shows a woman doesn’t value herself or her self worth and makes her look thirsty. He then says that a man should do this… Well does it not work the same way around? Should a man not feel if a woman truly wants to be with him and loves and cherishes him that she show some work and effort for such?

People believe there are such huge differences between men and women. Most of us want to be loved. We all want to be respected. I think that this quote undermines that. It feels like the author was being divisive… It felt as if blame was being placed on men and he was absolving women of responsibilities in a relationship. Stating that men are just disloyal and cheaters. That men have to work super extra hard and that women shouldn’t have to. This is likely to cause the entitlement that some women feel now-a-days. They don’t have to bring much to a table and shouldn’t need to do much for a man. We should be promoting unity between both and fair and equal balance and sharing between the two.

Ladies do not be afraid to praise your man if he is a good man. Men the same goes for your woman. If you are worried about the extra attention then your bond may not be as strong as it should be. I cant determine that. You have to. Being in a relationship does not make anyone an expert about all relationships. They can tell you what has worked for them or worked with friends they know. Relationships and relationship advice is not a one size fits all. Understand who you are and who your partner is. Understand your relationship before you heed advice that doesn’t relate to it.

In other words refer to the title of this post.

My Birthday, My Gift.

Good Morning all. It has been just over a week since my birthday last Monday April 7th. I first want to apologize for the time it has taken to send this out. Truly every birthday wish was ready and heard and appreciated. I thank everyone of you. Even if we don’t speak every day or don’t hear from each other or know all of the details of each other’s lives, for us to take out a moment to recognize or celebrate or bestow well wishes on a person. Friendship has always meant the world to me and I truly do cherish and value connections and relationships. I want everyone to know that they do hold special places and moments in my mind and heart.

I never usually make a big deal out of my birthday. I know most people spend months planning out events and activities and celebrations. People have countdowns and announcements and shout it out to the world. I’m not one of those people. I had my first birthday cake in about 13-14 years this year. (Well, whole cake) Do not get me wrong. I love my birthday! I love when it comes. I think it’s the greatest day in the world. and I feel powerful during it. I love recognizing that I have lived another year and get to spend more time with those I love and another year to improve. I am now in year 30. I don’t share this a lot but there were times when I never thought I’d live to see 30.  Well I am almost there. I appreciate every birthday I just don’t feel the need to make a big fuss about it.

Year 30 Begins.

Year 30 Begins.

Every year more people seem to be more excited for me to have plans and celebrations than I am. Every year I’m asked:

“So what are you doing for your birthday?” “What do you want to do for your birthday?” “Where are we going?”

And every year I have the same answers. “I don’t know”, “It doesn’t matter/I don’t care”  or “Nothing”. This year I decided against that. I have always tried to be humble and kind. It isn’t hard usually but I am human and there are challenges sometimes to being a great man. Over the past two and a half to three years though, I have wanted to dedicate myself to doing more for society as a whole. I have wanted to give back and help out those less fortunate or unable to help themselves. Lately I have dedicated myself to volunteering and offering community service. I try to show that there can be good in this world as well. With all the craziness of violence and poor human conditioning and general lack of compassion, I feel I have to do something to try and help somewhere.

I have volunteered a lot over the past couple years. Mostly I have been preparing and serving breakfast at the Salvation Army Center of Hope. I also like to encourage others to give back as well. I do very much enjoying bringing great feelings to others. To be able to help out those that may be down or have a period of misfortune and desperation and hurt, brings me joy. I know how it feels to feel hopeless and desperate. I have been at times in my life where I just wished someone would offer a hand or some sort of service. I know how much that would have meant to me. While I may have experienced low points in my life, I know that I have been fortunate, blessed and that there are some that were at even lower points. I feel it is my responsibility as a human being, a brother to all to help out. No one lives forever. Screwing someone over or avoiding helping does NOT help you in the end. We all end at some point. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not is of no importance. All that is left of you after you are gone to those still here is a memory and legacy. What will yours be?

With that being said, leading up to my birthday I knew the questions would soon come. So I decided what I wanted to do for my birthday was something not about me. But in order to maximize it I had to use my birthday as a tool. I decided for my birthday, I wanted to volunteer at the Second Harvest Food Bank in Charlotte.  I had volunteered there a few weeks earlier and enjoyed the time there. While there I was expressed the importance of volunteers to their work.  I would need more people to help. So I used my birthday to gather family and friends to join me to volunteer. They say if you do something good and more than one person knows about it you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. I used to agree and I can see why someone would say it, but now I disagree. If you do a good deed or something amazing, tell it to the world. Inspire others to do the same. The world could use more of that. I sent the information out to see who would be able to make it. My hope was to get at least ten people for the volunteering. I received responses and confirmations and from there we were ready to go.

The shift was scheduled for Monday April 7th at 9:00 am. That morning of my birthday it was raining. So it was a heavily rainy Monday morning with rush hour traffic. I had requested everyone to meet me there between 8:30-8:45 am. That was mostly to make sure people prepared to be on time. With that being said I was excited that everyone had actually made it on time. We all got signed in and we were met by the volunteer coordinator. She then gave a brief tour and lesson about what the Second Harvest food bank does.  After that we were handed off to another employee. This employee then gave us instructions for the job we were to be completing during our shift. The task was simple. The bank takes in donations from all over. Some of the donations come from big stores such as CVS, Walgreens and Walmart.  Our task was to basically grab the products from the boxes they were donated in and sort them by product type into other boxes. Before we could sort them we had to deface the bar codes on packaging to prevent anyone from returning the products for cash. We also had to secure any open products with tape. Once we were set free to work we began to choose tasks and begin in playful conversation. Food was a popular topic. We laughed we joked, we met new friends and engaged in conversation with them. We played some music and even I broke out a dance move or two. At the end of our shift, we were once again reminded how important volunteers were to helping their cause. We were offered candy and free treat because unbeknownst to me or my fellow volunteers. It was national volunteering week.  After we all went out and enjoyed a nice meal. All together it was such a wonderful experience and I enjoyed everyone coming out and making it an enjoyable and memorable birthday experience.  I’d like to thank those individually that came out.

Thank you;

Yvette, Tierra, Alex, Viveka, Damien, Jordan, Ashley, Curtis

Thank you all

The Volunteers

I truly appreciate you all for taking the morning to celebrate with me in one of the best ways possible.

-X-

 

Fun times!

Fun times!

My gift

My gift