The Most Beautiful and Terrifying Moment

It has been a while since I have posted a blog entry. It has been almost a year in fact. I think this occasion is a good enough reason to get back into my blog writing. I would like to introduce you all to my Fiancée

My Fiancée

My Fiancée Tyffani

Yes, I got engaged toTyffani Thompson. It was a magical moment for me and my new fiancée. We met 3 years ago at work and had been friends for a couple of years. When we first met neither of us would have imagined we would be at this point. If you were to ask her she would swear it never would have happened. She tried hard to stay away and keep anything  more than a friendship from developing. So we hung out a few times and stayed friends until late last year. Dating her felt different than anything I have ever felt before. This was different from any relationship I had in the past. Love was building and by January it was full blown and both of us were captivated by it and each other. It was here where the first thoughts of making this and her a permanent part of my life.

The Plot Thickens.

We spent every weekend together. We were unapologetically in love. No matter what anyone said or thought we loved one another. We did have some challenges. She had doubts. I had hesitations. Together we had resolve. We also had no intentions of letting either of those prevent my story and her story from becoming our story. One January afternoon, after a trip and during one of Tyffani’s doubting moments, I watched her as she napped and thought “God, I want to Marry her”.  With that I worked to be a better man. The thoughts of marriage and proposals came to flood my mind but I knew that we were not there or ready yet. I needed to improve myself and character. We laughed and loved and fought and partied. We hosted family gatherings and Special events. We went on trips to plenty of places Charleston South Carolina, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Florida, Virginia and others. We were trapped in love. I didn’t want to escape.

2-14 3

Charleston Waterfront

2-14 2

Toast in Charleston

Punta Cana 1

Punta Cana Fun

We are two silly Kernels on a cob

I have always known that when I wanted to propose I would want to do something in public and fun. I also try to have a bit of romance to me. So I knew that anything I did had to incorporate those two elements. I also knew that whatever proposal I had planned had to be significant to her. I had thought of several different public forums to actually do the proposal. Some of the ideas that came to me were karaoke or a flash mob dance. (As much as I try to deny it, I’m not a great singer or dancer.) In the end, neither of those felt right. Neither showed of my romantic aptitude. I used to write very often. I used to perform open mic poetry on stage at a few places. I shared with Tyffani that I had written poetry before. She had asked me to write something for her. I had written something small and quick for her.  That was the end of it until I thought about a new poem I wanted to write for her….

Tyff

Stop This World from Spinning!

The poem idea came after watching other proposals and thinking about what exactly that moment is for a man. I, also being a huge thrill seeker and having a love for flying or soaring, swinging, gliding through the sky thought about that moment before you jump from a plane or base jump site or even the pendulum drop at an amusement park. That moment being a beautiful and terrifying moment. You making the decision to let go and or leap into the sky and not know whether you will crash or if you will be caught or if you will fall or fly. “It has to be a wonderful and scary moment.” I thought to myself. So I decided to write the poem as a metaphor.

“In order to feel heaven I have to touch the sky!”

Once I decided that I wanted to do a poem the next thing to determine was how to deliver the poem. I knew an open mic was the way to go. I knew I would need to try to get family there so my original idea was to have her sister invite us to a quaint open mic poetry night at a spot. The plan was to progressively invite more family along with us, in what I would try to make in unsuspecting fashions. I would then to her surprise hop on stage after my name was called and perform.  I was prepared to reach out to old contacts to try to host an open mic if I couldn’t find one already being hosted during the period I would want to propose. The problem with that plan is that she would be suspicious if there was that much family at an event. So I needed a new plan.

The Ring

The Ring

It was at this point where I bought the ring. That was a challenge in and of itself. But immediately after I had purchased the ring I began having a bit of second thoughts and worries of if I was doing the right thing. Now anyone that knows me and has ridden in my car knows I have an unorthodox way of listening to music. I usually let my entire collection play. Usually this means going from an R&B song to a Pop song to a rap song to country or gospel or rock. Im told its hard to catch a mood in my music selection. But in the exact moment of my doubt I got Devine confirmation of my decision. The song Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran, which is special to us for a number of reasons, began playing. It was then followed by Bruno Mars’ Marry You. 

Armed with this newfound confirmation and confidence, I went ahead started working on fine tuning my plan. (I don’t want to give all the details before you see for yourself below) I found the perfect event which was another confirmation. This also gave me a date. The plan ended up working to where I could get all of our immediate family there and Tyffani not know it, as well as me surprise her with the proposal. Below is the Poem and the proposal both and some photos of the day of the proposal. (So I actually was nervous and there was so much going on I forgot some lines.) Please Enjoy Share and comment. 

So there it is folks. That was the culmination of months of planning and different ideas. I knew I wanted to plan the event around October or November because this was the time when we started to have our relationship grow. We have a number of special moments in October and November. So once I purchased the ring I began looking for open mic events and then I found that the Blumenthal Performing Arts center was hosting an open mic at their Spirit Square McGlohon theater. The event was schedueled for October 30th 2015 and this fit within the time frame of when I wanted to propose. What really sold me was the size of the theater and the fact that they were encouraging performers and audience to wear costumes. I loved this fact because this allowed me to have our family all there to witness the event without Tyffani ever knowing they were there. This also allowed me to perform and for her to not know it was me until the point when I wanted her to know. This venue and event was perfect in every way that perfect could be.

Once I found the event and venue,  I called and advised them of my plan. They were very supportive and eager to help and assist me. They allowed me to come by and visit the venue and plan the proposal. They also offered much assistance and I thank all of them for their involvement before and day of. After the venue was secured I needed to coordinate with the family. So I gathered up everyone’s contact information and informed them of the news. I contacted her grandparents and asked for their blessings. I then had to gather the important people in our lives and make sure they were there to be a part of it. I invited my 3 sisters, My Mom, Tyffani’s Son, Mom, Sisters, grandparents and best friend. Her brother, unfortunately was not able to make it. There were also plenty of nieces and nephews there as well. I kept in secret email correspondence with all of them. It was a clandestine operation and I was the Jason Borne of wedding proposals I had deleted every evidence of it from my phone. Any pictures or text messages were instantly deleted. I used a secret email address. I even made the family members delete conversations from their phones. No one was allowed to text me about it unless I text them first. I went so far as to throw her off the scent by downplaying my readiness to marry her. I even lied to her face and flat out told her there were many things for us to work on to get there. I annoyed her and acted disinterested in her discussions. every word out of my mouth was carefully vetted before they left my mouth, like soldiers off to do battle. I was determined for this to be a complete surprise to her.

My next task was to perfect the poem. As I mentioned earlier the theme was a metaphor of The Most Beautiful and Terrifying moment but I needed to make sure it was special to us and related to our relationship. There was a moment where it all fit together. Back when Tyffani and I were dating and beginning to get serious in our relationship and wondering about the next steps, we were both hesitant for our own reasons. We had both been through a lot and as I mentioned Tyffani was already trying to push me away for the longest time. She was afraid of us failing, of being hurt and losing out on our friendship. She used a metaphor of her being on the ledge and worried about taking the step off. She was scared of falling. She didn’t want to jump she felt she had no parachute and she was right. She wanted to stay safe and comfortable on the ledge and then the words of the thought she was terrified of seemed to escaped the prison of her lips dying for freedom.

“What if I stepped out off the ledge”

Without a hesitation I responded with

“I’ll catch you”

This was it. This was the moment from our relationship that married my poem with our love. I had to make this the signature.

Now that that was all in place I just had to wait until the day of event. Leading up to the day I was not nervous at all. I had to remain calm to make sure I had all bases covered. The plan was to have her sister invite her to the open mic event. I would be invited as well but I would decline and state that I had to work and instead would watch their children. I meanwhile, on the day of the event would get all of our family in the theater early seated and in costume so that she wouldn’t recognize them or me. I also invited a friend of mine whom Tyffani did not ever meet in person but also in mask. Her purpose was to help get Tyffani and her sisters to their designated reserved seats in the front row. She was also responsible for taking video from my phone during the performance and proposal. I chose her to do this because I figured Tyffani would be suspicious if her sisters started recording my performance. (They recorded anyway lol.) I also was supposed to have a camera on stage with me to film Tyffani’s reaction to the performance. I unfortunately in all of my day of excitement did not realize that I had not charged my camera battery. If I have one regret of the proposal it would be that I did not have that done.

On the day of, I was a robot. I had worked the night before from 9:00 pm to 7:00 am. At around 7:30 am before Tyffani left for work I fell asleep as I would normally do. I then woke up about 10:30 and began preparing. I had to prepare my poem. I would then go to my barber to get my haircut. Next I would have to be at Tyffani’s house to pick up the children and get them and myself dressed. All the while throughout the day taking and making calls to be sure everyone was going to be in place on time and to make sure everyone had all of the details. I didn’t even eat until about 5:00 pm. At 5:00 I met up with Tyffani’s grandparents and my mom and Tyffani’s best friend and headed to the theatre where my sisters and everyone else would meet with the exception of Tyffani and her two sisters. Their job was to take Tyffani out to a bar for drinks and snacks and stall her prior to, in order to make sure that everyone else was settled in first.  When we all met I gave the family the final details. I advised them when I was set to perform and informed them of the audible cue in my poem. The audible cue was the phrase “Cloud 9”. When they heard this they were to get up from their seats in the back of the theater and travel down to the front in view of Tyffani. I wanted her to know that her family was there to support her and share this special moment with her. That cue gave me enough time to also make my own reveal.

At the time of the doors opening I got everyone in. I was in full on dictator mode. I began barking out orders and demanding compliance. Once everyone was settled in and had their masks on. I put on my own mask. and waited in the lobby for the guest of honor. Once I spotted her I signaled my friend who then signaled the hostess to seat them. I walked away before being noticed and sat down in the back. I waited and watched other performers and then my name was called. All of a sudden all of the nervousness that should have been spread out over weeks came and hit me at once. I wasn’t worried that she would say no, not in the least. I worked so hard to make everything perfect. I wanted it to play out just how I imagined it. This moment was a culmination of so much planning and care and precision tactics. I did not want to mess up. I even had an iPod with my poem ready to go in my ear in case the nerves took over my memory. I then stepped on stage.

In that moment looking down at her barely visible through my mask…. I felt as if I WAS on top of a building about to jump… My metaphor poem was manifesting itself in that moment. I truly was feeling The Most Beautiful and Terrifying Moment. I press play on the iPod, and then what felt like disaster… the poem was already 3 lines in. I paused for a moment and just started speaking from the beginning. My pacing was a little faster than I had wanted because I was trying to catch up. I even skipped a line. I was also trying to disguise my voice. In an instant I settled myself down and thought of the hundred times I had listened to and recited the poem and calmed myself. I got through to the moment where it was time to reveal my face. ALL BETS WERE OFF. I knew the words but it was hard trying to force them out. They were there but hard to see through all of the emotions and litany of other things going on.  They were mere the gnats in a room full of giants. And then for the first time since 7:00 am that morning I could see her clearly. She was there never taking her really moist eyes off of me. I could hear her tears. I would hear the crying and sniffles of most of the family and then the wave hit me. I couldn’t think and it took all of my brain to hold back my own tears to finish the poem. To Ask The Question… I speak and I know its not how I had written it down but I don’t care. I reach for the ring, I kneel… I speak still knowing that it wasn’t exactly how it was written but still not caring… I wanted to get to that moment. The question was burning a fire in its cell to be released from my lips. She’s shaking her head and answering before I could even get it out. And then FREEDOM. I lept. We met in the air and now we are flying and ready to soar!

Here is the full poem for those that would like to read it:

The Most Beautiful and Terrifying Moment by Xavion Newkirk

Have you ever been high? I mean at the top of the world and looking down from the sky type high. Your breath is lighter than helium gas, your heart is a revving like a Nascar engine waiting on the green flag. Your apprehensive mind filled with second thoughts and hesitations. “What happens next?” written on your face with the ink of anxious anticipation. What ifs and speculations. But no, Now is not the time for regrets though…. You look down close your eyes and then let go. And you see and THERE is the moment. That wonderful, most beautiful and terrifying moment. The one where you take control of your fear an own it. When you let go and adorn the sky. See some fear the fall… but Me! Listen… I was born to fly… In that beautiful terrifying moment there’s a feeling of peace replacing my cares. I mean I literally get high on facing my fears. They say everyone has two choices when faced with peril right. Fight or Flight… Well ironically my fight is my flight. I’ll look for the tallest and most terrifying roller coaster sight. Get on wait for it to climb to its highest height. To feel that beautiful scary moment start when it stops. To feel my stomach in knots when it drops. I’ll raise my arms and throw my hands up to fly. I do this because in order to feel heaven I have to touch the sky. That’s why I’ll never stop trying I’m obsessed. It’s no wonder my church is called Elevation and my favorite team is The Jets. I look down and stand above the crowd. Some may say I have my head in the clouds. Well How else do you expect me to elevate my mind? So I will fly, soar, glide levitate and climb. Everyone wants to be at the top. No one wants to fall. I live for the moment. Others don’t want it at all. When you’re there with the bungee cord attached to your legs.That moment Standing on the edge looking down working up the courage to leap from your ledge. I know stepping off isn’t going to be easy In that beautiful scary moment the fear frees me. When I’m up there looking down but I have no plans to touch the ground. I want to touch the sky. If I stepped off will I fall or will I fly. That moment is where I am now … See you have me at the top of the world. You have me on cloud 9. With you I feel high even in my down time. But staying in one place isn’t how I’m made. Not too long ago you were in this moment on the ledge and afraid. There’s a reason it’s called falling in love. You’ll never find out if you keep it safe. I told you I’d catch you if you just took that leap of faith. Now it’s my turn to make that leap out into the sky. It’s a beautiful scary moment. Will I fall or will I fly? And if I fall for you all over again will you be catching me? Because see The most beautiful terrifying moment is asking…

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Finding Heroes

With all the superhero/comic book casting news that has been made recently, there has been quite a bit of excitement and skepticism and complaints. There have been the castings that have been absolutely can’t miss with Ryan Reynolds returning to put the mouth to the Merc with a Mouth in a feature length dead pool movie. There are castings that seem pretty solid and potentially great with Benedict Cumberbatch portraying the live action version of Dr. Strange. There are those with mixed reviews with The Cast of Warner Bros/DC Comics Suicide Squad. I think the casting is pretty solid. I’m not sold on Will Smith as DeadShot but I like the idea of the other actors Leto as The Joker and Hardy as Rick Flagg. Marvel has also cast their stars for Netflix series with Mike Colter as Luke Cage and Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones. Then you have the WTF castings like Ezra Miller as the Flash. Now Im not disappointed by the Ezra Miller casting because he’s gay or a bad actor. I just truly don’t think he fits the character. Although I don’t know which version of the Flash they are going with since there are 4 characters with extensive stints as the Flash. I just feel they should go Barry Allen, although my favorite and the one I grew up with was Wally West. Ezra Miller doesnt look anything like the Barry Allen in the comics. To be fair neither does Grant Gustin, who plays the character on TVs “The Flash”.

With all of the commotion about castings and more and more superhero movies being made, I figured I’d share a few thoughts and do my own castings. So in the inevitable battle that always comes up when talking about comics I will give quick opinion of DC vs Marvel. I have to say I have loved Marvels castings for their Cinematic Universe. I have always been more of a DC fan over Marvel, although I love both. To be fair I blame Warner Brothers more than DC. Marvel has its own studios to do their movies while DC has parent company WB doing theirs. So WB is not as focused on comic book fandom or History while Marvel Studios is very well rooted in it. WB is trying too hard to do “out of the box” and sort of eclectic casting. Its okay but sometimes the reasons we get so excited for these movie is because we have read and seen these characters for years and dreamed of seeing them in live action and how they would look and move in the genre and to change that can kind of give a disconnect. It feels as if we will still be waiting to see these characters.

So far I have been disappointed in the casting of my favorite Superhero team. “The Justice League” (Sorry Avengers). I love the Justice League. Batman and the Flash and Green Lantern. I have been waiting for the live action realization of these heroes since I was a child. While I will have to live with someone else’s vision for now. I can still imagine how I would have loved to have seen it look. So I will share my casting thoughts on this post. I will also share what would have been my story for the Batman Superman Team up and on into a shared DC universe in future posts.  So without further ado… I present to you…

Justice_League_of_America_Vol_3_logoJustice League

 

BATMAN-KARL URBAN:

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight

I know everyone was probably expecting Superman up first but I went the Dark Knight first BECAUSE HE’S BATMAN! Now I loved the Nolan Trilogy and loved Christian Bale. But When they decided to end the franchise and not link it to a shared universe, I conceded that it was right as Nolan’s world didn’t fit with a Justice league. So I thought my next choice would be Karl Urban. I think Urban is a pretty good actor and he can play the tough, no nonsense and terrifying characteristics of Batman. Hell the movie “Dredd” might as well had been an audition tape for Batman. He can also pull off the charming and playboy characteristics of Bruce Wayne. I think he would have made the perfect Batman for the shared universe. I hate the idea of Batfleck when first announced and Im still not warm and fuzzy about it. I think Affleck can do a good Bruce Wayne but Im not sold on The Dark Knight.

SUPERMAN-HENRY CAVILL:

The Man of Steel

The Man of Steel

I actually liked Cavill as Superman. The movie had its issues but I thought Cavill fit the role. I would loosen up the hair a bit but other than that visual he looked like Superman. I like that he was in a fit and ripped shape. He also had that charm of a boy scout mixed with trying to balance out the strength of a god. I would keep him in the role. Now we didn’t get to see much of his mild mannered Clumsy Kent side but I think he’s earned the role.

WONDER WOMAN-GEMMA ARTERTON: 

The Amazon Princess.

The Amazon Princess

One of the first things I think Wonder Woman has to be, is undoubtedly beautiful. She also has to look like someone that is tough and can take on the world. I think Gemma is both of those. She is gorgeous and has a history of playing tough “woman of action” characters as seen in Prince of Persia and Hansel and Gretel. She is only 5’7″ and I think ideally that Wonder Woman is taller but thats an easy fix. She also looks of a more solid build than Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is also Princess and she will need someone that can bring that regalness to her. Gemma’s role in Clash of the Titans was good enough to sell me on her abilities there.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER-DJIMON HOUNSOU:

The Alien Atlas

The Alien Atlas

J’onn J’onzz AKA The Martian Manhunter. I think its just wrong to have a Justice League movie without him. He was a founding member and has always been at the center of the team. He is the heart of the league. You need an actor with range. You need an actor that can appear opposing and intimidating but have that soft heart. Hounsou has been around the acting block and played heroes and villains alike. He has had dramatic turns in Amistad and done action. He has shown he can be the warrior in movies like Gladiator and the Mentor/voice of reason in Never Back Down.

GREEN LANTERN – RYAN REYNOLDS:

The Emerald Knight

The Emerald Knight

Now I know almost everyone if not everyone hated the Green Lantern movie. And to be honest there was a lot to hate. BUT Ryan Reynolds was not one of them. Hal Jordan was always meant to be the cocky, brash Flyboy. Ryan Reynolds plays that role in his sleep. He’s a mix of goofball and dedicated worker. Ryan Reynolds has had plenty of Action and superhero experience. He can do the Hal Jordan wit and the Green Lantern Space Cop. I thought he deserved another chance at Green Lantern with a better script and better production.

FLASH-KELLAN LUTZ:

The Fastest Man Alive

The Fastest Man Alive

So this is one of my favorite castings. The Flash is one of my favorite heroes. I decided to go with a Barry Allen version of the Flash. I originally wanted to always do a Wally West Flash movie, but with DC bringing back Barry Allen and his buddy Hal Jordan being a member of the team I decided Barry was the way to go. I picked Kellan because not only does he look the part of The Flash(No disrespect Grant Gustin) … He can capture that personality. He has that solid exterior. He can play that fast paced hurried/hyper personality The Flash has with a bit of stoicism as well. He has the comedy and adventurous personality as seen in Twilight Movies. He’s also been more involved in Action lately with The Expendables and Hercules. Also how awesome would the comic relief be in the Bro moments with with Ryan and Kellan playing Hal and Barry? Cant you just imagine all the funny exchanges between them?

HAWKWOMAN-JESSICA CHASTAIN:

The Crimefighter of Thanagar

The Crimefighter of Thanagar

I was torn I wanted to add another woman to my team and thought about adding founding member Black Canary to the list but Ultimately went with Hawkwoman. Hawkwoman is a strong female Character. She’s tough and authoritative with being a cop from another planet. I think Jessica fits the bill of looking the part and has the acting chops to pull it off. She was great in Zero Dark Thirty and The Debt. Im a huge fan of hers.

CYBORG-MICHEAL B JORDAN:

The Robotman

The Robotman

Cyborg after the New 52 reboot in the comics is now a founding member of the Justice League. I like the character and its nice to bring some “color” into the fold. I think I needed an actor that was young and could help give Cyborg that heart and the man trapped in Cybernetics but making the most of it feeling. Michael is a young actor that has been acting for a while but is just now starting to blow up. He’s fresh off an academy award nomination and has played various characters. Come to find out after I had already put this list together, he has already played Cyborg. So he has experience there. He’s playing the Human Torch in the new Fantastic Four and he’s also played a young kid with powers thrust upon him in Chronicle. All of this leads me to believe he’d be perfect for the role.

AQUAMAN-CHARLIE HUNNAM:IMG_0665

This was the pick I was least confident about. I wasn’t sure if Charlie was a great fit for this role but I would give him the chance. It would be departure from his character Jackson Teller slightly. Aquaman has to be this regal sort of “above it all” personality. I think Hunnam has the chops to pull it off. He has the look I think he is someone that could hold his own vs the likes of a Batman or Superman. My original actor I think would be great actually plays another Hero. I think Chris Hemsworth would be my first choice for this role but You cant have Thor play Aquaman.

 

So that would be my Justice League. I think this cast would bring the best to each of their Characters and I thought about cohesiveness between the characters. I think these actors could mesh well and build the relationships needed to carry the film.  I will cast some villains in later posts as well as give my ideas for building the DC cinematic Universe. Let me know what you all think.

 

 

Notches of Happiness

2014, my 30th year of life. When I was a kid, I never thought I would make it to this point in life. I come from a background that I wont really elaborate on. I will say it wasn’t the best or safest environment for a young man or really anyone. I see news reports to this day of the terrible things that happen in that city. When I was a kid I hated the idea of moving to the south. I didn’t want to leave New York. I thank my mother for doing it either way. Without that decision I know that I wouldn’t be in this amazing place I feel I am in now.

Year 30 Begins.

Year 30 Begins.

I am 29 years old and I haven’t always had the nicest things or the greatest. I always have thought adversity and struggle builds character in the strong willed. I have always been humble of my past and beginnings. I remember what it is like to have nothing but love and the basics.  As a child you grow up thinking of all the amazing things that you will do… All that you will have… We grow up calling these things dreams… Dreams… a funny thing to call them. Dreams are intangible. Dreams are seen when you’re asleep. If you really want to accomplish goals you must be awake. You must open your eyes and look to see what it is you want to accomplish. You must visualize the path and map out your direction. It will come from long days, sometimes long nights. It will come from sacrifice and hard work. It will take dedication and focus. It will take an alertness. Some may start as dreams and create an inspiration, but they transform into progress, growth, stories and finally “Notches of happiness”.

Over the past three years I have been fortunate to have experienced much growth in my character. I have been blessed to add many notches in my belt that houses my bits of happiness. They all started as dreams. They haven’t all been easy and the path has not been all pain free. I have experienced much pain over those three years. In those three years I have grown to a small version of the man I dreamed I would one day be. There are still parts of me that will want to continue to improve. As a good friend of mine says constantly “I am a work in progress” and I will always be. Some think this is draining or doesn’t allow you to be happy or embrace all that you have become. I think it helps me appreciate it more and provides motivation. I realize how far I have come. From the young, poor, nerd kid to the older, wiser, nerd man that wants to save the world and improve all around him. I will continue to work to become more while recognizing I am more than I was!

Highlights of the past three years were;

Falling in love: A true deep and passionate love. I know many people might think that to be a soft moment, but I have grown to a point to accept vulnerabilities and not be a slave to them or the misconceptions of what they mean of me. That love didn’t turn out the way I expected. Thats the pain that I mentioned before but growth requires pain sometimes and usually provides the strongest push… A bolt of lightning hitting and providing the power needed. I am thankful for this. I learned a lot.

New Job: In 2011 I was in a miserable time. I wasn’t happy with my job at all. I didn’t feel respected or appreciated. In early 2012 I started a new job. It was in a different office and it was a job more suited to my skills, needs and personality. It was a huge boost to my ego and a catalyst for future notches.

Time Warner Cable Business Class

Time Warner Cable Business Class

 

Hard Work and Will

Hard Work and Will

Fitness: I had grown to a point where I had not been cautious of my weight or health and overall fitness. I had blown to over 220 lbs. This was the biggest I had ever been. I decided one day that I didn’t want to be that anymore. So, I worked my ass off! I studied, I researched,  I changed routines and diets. I motivated and willed myself to get fit. Not to just lose weight, but to get fit to be able to be athletic and compete in athletic challenges. I wanted to be able to do things I had never done before or hadn’t in a long time. I accomplished this and still continue to work.

Get Fit

Get Fit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fashion: Tie Tuesday. I posted about this before so I wont spend much time on this but I wanted to recreate my image and discover my sense of style. I wanted to express myself through my clothing and to mark myself for more than what everyone else thought of me or what I was.

Some tie showcases over the past year

Some tie showcases over the past year

Volunteerism: One of the running jokes my friends have is that I want to save the world. They arent far off. as I mentioned above. I know what it is like to have nothing or very little. I have suffered and been in desperate situations. I know what it means to want or need that helping hand and how much that can make a difference in someones day or life. 

Thank you for your time.

Thank you for your time.

Meeting Curtis Martin: One of the people that have been amazingly inspirational in the person I would like to be is Curtis Martin. I wrote a whole post on him and that meet-up here.

Definitely an amazing moment.

Definitely an amazing moment.

This brings me to 2014. This year has been an amazing year filled with a few special moments and pieces of happiness captured. I made a promise to myself last year that I would accomplish a few goals. The first of which is a continuing goal. I would mold myself into a better man. I will work to inspire people to do the same. I want to see a world where we are all pushing ourselves and each other to become better people. I want us to stop settling in this life as we are imperfect so theres no reason to try to become more or better. You don’t have to work to be perfect but to be better can improve us all. There is a lot happening in the world today and much of it saddens and darkens the hopes for a wonderful future. People are fighting each other and killing each other. We are making excuses for wrong doings and excusing some inexcusable acts. We fight with people of differences and disguise it as group/cultural/racial or religious pride. We can embrace differences and still see each other as one. My goal is to try to share this vision to bring people together. I am working on this goal and getting people to help each other and those in need. I have showcased my volunteering on social media as a way to inspire others to do the same. Theres a saying that if you do something good and more than one or two people know about it, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. I can see the reasoning behind that but if no one glamorizes the care for fellow man then who will see all the good it can bring. I will say that while it hasn’t been the most successful goal of the year, I have seen moments where I have inspired. I have had friends mention to me their desires to volunteer after seeing me do so.

The next goal I started was from a seed planted last year. I had completed my second Warrior Dash race and it was after I completed the Spartan Race earlier that year. As I sat and looked at all of the medals I had. I thought to myself

“I would like to take the next step…”. “Next year I want a bunch more medals”.

So I decided that I would race to get more. I decided in January I would work to complete the Spartan Race Trifecta. I would race in three races each of different lengths. The Spartan Sprint. The Spartan Super and The Spartan Beast. The lengths were 5 miles, 9 miles and 12 miles. The number of obstacles were 17, 24, and 27. I knew that in order to prepare my body for this challenge I would have to work. I had never run anything longer than just over a 5K and I was very hesitant about completing the Super and Beast. But I set my mind to it and decided that I can do it. It is worth the time, training to complete something so physically challenging and proving to myself that I am willing to put myself through all challenges. I completed the Spartan Sprint in March. It wasn’t as challenging as my first sprint and I felt pretty good with my preparation heading in. I paced myself and handled many of the obstacles with ease. I even surprised myself on some of them. I will go into more detail on my races in a later post. I did write about my Spartan Sprint experience earlier this year. It was more about my mental  and emotional experience than the  physical and you can click here for it. I just completed my final two pieces of my Spartan Race Trifecta last month. They were by far the most physically challenging things I have done. There were times during the race where I thought that I would not finish and did not want to finish. The second race I wasn’t even sure I could do because of the toll the first race took on me… I decided though, that none of that would stop me. I made a commitment! A commitment to no one but myself that I would finish both of those races. After over 20 miles, over 50 obstacles and 10 hours… You are reading the blog of Spartan Race Trifecta completer!

 

Trifecta Complete

Trifecta Complete

Trifecta Finisher

Trifecta Finisher

Trifecta

Trifecta

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A notch of happiness

A notch of happiness

Another thing that I have accomplished was just last week when I met Curtis Martin for a second time. I met him at the Charlotte Touchdown Club. He was a guest speaker for the luncheon being hosted. I love hearing his stories of his background and where he has come from and how he has overcome adversity to be in the position of where he is now. The first time I met Curtis I was 50 lbs heavier. I didn’t expect him to recognize me. When I met him this time I reminded him of our first encounter back in 2012 during his induction and the letter I had written to him. He told me that he didn’t specifically remember and that he had gotten a few letters that day but kept them all. It was to be expected. We went ahead with the luncheon and then after the luncheon I spoke with him just a bit more and explained to him how he has been an inspiration to me. I brought up the letter again and I reminded him of his last words to me that day and how they were a catalyst for me to push me through challenges such as my fitness journey and The Spartan Races. Those words were “Keep Pressing”. Once I told him this, his eyes lit up and he said that he remembered me. He told me that he remembered saying that to me. I thanked him again for how much he has done for not just me but inspiring people all over. I appreciate that I got to share news with him that he had reached a goal of his own and found a “notch of happiness” by being able to inspire me. This is a moment that I will cherish for a lifetime!

This brings me to the final “Notch of Happiness”.  I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!

I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!

I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!

I moved a bit

I moved a bit

When I moved into my last apartment back in 2012, I had realized that I was so tired of moving. I was tired of picking up my life and moving it from one place to another. I knew I hated moving way before this but I had decided I was actually exhausted. I didn’t feel I could rest. I felt that I had worked my ass off so hard and I didn’t really have anything to show for it. At that point I was still making payments on my car I just moved into another apartment that I wasn’t all that happy about and I didn’t feel it fit me or all my plans and hopes and the happiness I wanted for myself. I was tired of paying rent to stay in a place that was so far out of my control. I figured I was tired of moving and I was ready to stabilize my life and quit lifting heavy shit back and forth.  I decided that my next move will be to a place that I owned. That it would be to a place that I would stay in and have control over.

I wanted to be secure in the fact that someone wasn’t dictating how much I would pay them to tell me what I could not do. So, in that thought I decided to begin my research and that when my lease was up in 2013, I would be purchasing my first home. So I studied and did research I tried to learn all I could about the home buying process. I picked the brains of friends and even strangers. I reached out in all ways I thought I could. When 2013 came I took the next step. That february I began my search for a real estate agent to assist me. A friend of mine mentioned that his wife worked for a real estate agency and gave me her information. I looked her up and sent an email. Her office was right around the corner from my job’s office so I decided she would be the agent that I would reach out to first for information. After my first meeting with Kadena, she provided so much information that I hadn’t already known. She was sweet and was understanding of my newness to the process. When that meeting was over I felt the nerves that I had prior were still there but less prevalent. I was still hesitant about the financial process. I wasn’t sure I was able to cover the upfront expenses that would be involved. I was struggling a bit and hadn’t saved enough to the point where I had felt comfortable. I went back and forth about it for about a month. At that point it became close to the time for me to either move or renew my lease. I made the decision that I would renew my lease and put off buying the home until the next year.

Fast Forward to 2014 and the year of the decision. I realized that I absolutely did not want to renew my lease. I planned and spoke with friends. In April, 3 days before my birthday. I decided to contact my bank to get pre-approval for a loan. I received a call back on my birthday informing me I was pre-approved for a loan for the budgeted amount $150,000 I gave to the mortgage consultant Kevin. I then called Kadena and left her a message and informed her of my pre-approval. She called me back and thus we were ready to get the ball rolling. My original search parameters were for the current area I was in. I wasn’t having much luck with that so I expanded my search. I learned about so many different mortgage programs and housing and real estate terms. I asked hundreds and hundreds of questions. I feel I must have gotten on everyones nerves but they were all patient and assisted. When we were looking for homes I had a conception in mind of what I wanted but I also had to realize I couldn’t look for a dream home on a non dream budget.  It didn’t feel so much as settling as it did learning to love what can be beautiful. The whole process felt similar to a dating process. I found the home I wanted to make an offer on, it fit that idea perfectly. It wasnt my dream home or a perfect home but it fit so much of what I wanted and needed. It felt right but I also felt a fear of commitment creeping. I decided I would not let that keep me from gaining something possibly great and I walked into Kadenas office with a check for $1,000 earnest money deposit and made an offer on the home. There was some back and forth on the offer amount between myself and the sellers. In the end I put a number and held firm on that and the offer was accepted. Then came the most nerve racking part of the process. There were inspections to schedule there were papers and documents to submit and calls to make. So many times I became frustrated and worried about the process and what I was taking on. Until… one day I prayed and let go. I decided that the house was going to be mine and that I would great. When closing came I found out that instead of having to pay down payments or closing costs… I would actually be getting a check back for $650. I signed the papers and then had that beautiful feeling.

I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!

Closing; Kadena and I

Closing; Kadena and I

I have been in my home 2 months now and I am loving it. It is an amazing blessing. I couldn’t have done it all alone. There was faith and God involved. I want to thank Kadena and Kevin for everything. They took good care of me and provided me with my best interests. Kadena provided me with so much info and helped me tremendously. I would recommend her to anyone in the market for a home. Thank you to all the friends that have provided me with information and advice. I know have talked a few ears off and complained a lot. I truly love you all for being there.

So, safe to say I added a few notches of Happiness to my belt this year. Its time to tighten it up and see whats in store for 2015. Though I do know it will be tough to top 2014.

 

Happy Birthday Ma!

 

Today, August  2nd is the birthday of my one and only mother. So I decided to dedicate a blog post to her. This poem is one I wrote a while ago but it applies. It is titled;  No “S” Necessary. She may kill me but eh.. She’s been trying for years hasnt succeeded yet.

 

Listen
No… Look

Up in the sky, it’s a bird. It’s a plane… No it’s a Super Woman down to every inch of her frame. No cape No “S” on her chest, but a Super Woman all the same. Ma that’s what you are to me. You’ve been so strong… even when it was so hard to be. You’re the one that gave my heart to me. From ever chamber to every artery. So how could I not love you with every ounce of it? Told me to pick a number, any number. If I can count to it than I can amount to it. Now I see there was never a doubt to it. Now you say you proud of me yet… There’s no way I’d be the man I am today without Yvette. So stand up and take a bow and a dose of your own pride. No matter what I’m always by your side, to look you in the eyes and love you till they dry. No love you til I die. Nah til way beyond the time existance has diminished. Ill love you forever like a poem that was never finished. I watched you leap tall buildings in a single bound. You wasn’t letting anyone or anything bring you down. Not to say you aint see your fair share of pain and fears or have eyes that dripped at night. I mean even Superman has Kryptonite. But I remember long nights in emergency rooms. Those memories are like surgery wounds. They remind me I was hurt but now Im better. I appreciate you and the time to show it is now or never, And Im going to show you as long as you got me… You got a real man in your life for now and forever. I know there were those that came and went. Those that made you cry. And I know so many nights you prayed for that pain to end. They brought you sunshine and then let it rain again. Well here ma you can share my umbrella. And we’ll stay dry till we see the sun get up. And never will your son let up. If I need to Ill paint a future so bright you wont ever need the sunshine not as long as your Son Shines. It was you who always saw the greatness in me. Told me about your past and I realized I dont have just my own but the stregnth of many. You gave me something to believe in. And taught me that everything that happens, happens for a reason. So now I realize the reason you struggle, is to give me every opportunity to show you how much I love you. Thats one I plan to take advantage of. In return I always give you a man to love. You’re a Super Woman. Thats why I look up to you. You helped me find the answers when I didn’t know what to do. You created a Super Man. So you have to be a Super Woman. I do believe that one day the truth is coming. No one flys higher in my Skys, and theres a fire in your eyes. You let those shots bounce off you no vest necessary, No “S” necessary. No stress unless it’s very best. We’re blessed, So stress your very best, and we’ll test the rest. Look up in the sky it’s a bird it’s a plane, It’s my mother and Super Woman is her name.

 

We sorta look a like. Happy Birthday Ma.

We sorta look a like. Happy Birthday Ma.

I Am

This is an older post that I have had for a while. It really captured my frame of mind at the time. What I loved most is that it was just straight writing. It was straight introspective. I just put my fingers on the keyboard and it felt as if all of this poured out. It was deep rooted and was definitive.

 

Enjoy!

 

I am mentally worn… So very tired. My brain checked out. Not to lunch and not on vacation… It is fired… heavy lays the air around me… Every breath feels like a drowning and every step feels a billion preceded it without rest. Every decision seems to be an impassable test. How did I come to this position of breakdown. Why am I feeling this Unquenchable wake now. Wheres my sleep? Wheres my relaxation. Well sleep has no representation without taxation. I will not be labeled lazy… But it ends up being unfairly labeled as crazy… Maybe I am. It is not my goal or desire to be likened to the insane. These burdens I carry I can’t help but wonder if I do it in Vain. What if I was to conform? Will this give me what I have been searching for all along? A home? A home amongst those Who I have cast out because they have cast me aside. But if I’m just copy of a million others will I be remembered if I died. Deep down I wish to be accepted… But strangely I relish times when I am neglected. Being different is my badge of Honor. but in reality the problem is I’m the only one that finds honor in my individuality… I’m fighting a war with myself and in a war versus me….. There is no Victory. Only pain and defeat. Best I can do is learn from my history… that this foe of mine… This is me…This battle is between a me deep inside and the one that is telling me lies… One knows the hidden me and one knows how to hide… I cant tell the difference between the truth and that unchecked youth. The one that still only believes and the one that knows..There’s someone in here that not even myself knows…. I’m afraid of failure so I lie to myself and say I cant do it. Which makes me a failure at owning up to it. Paradoxes seem to find comfort in my torture. I don’t fear that I’m inadequate nor powerful beyond measure. I fear not knowing which I am. I fear that either way it wont mean a damn. I fear not being able to take a stand and whether or not you recognize me as a man.

 

The Young and Childish Challenge

Now a days theres a challenge for everything. Theres the “Cinnamon Challenge”. Theres the “Ice Water challenge” and the “money save challenge”. The most recent one I have seen happens to probably also be the most useless and least entertaining, The “Grown and Sexy” Challenge. After seeing that one I decided that many of the challenges were pointless and really not understanding the definition of the word challenge. I guess its fun and people want to make themselves feel good so I just watched them have their fun. I did think it was a ridiculous trend though. So, in my usual response to things that I find pointless or irrelevant I decided to mock it.

Thus… The “Young and Childish Challenge” Was born.

Silly X

The Young and Childish photo. You gotta have fun with life. Don’t take it too serious. You’ll never make it out alive.

 

I decided I would post a bunch of silly photos to mock the “grown and sexy” posts. It wasn’t really a challenge and that was the point. Then I got the idea

“What if I actually challenge these people to do something good?”

“What if I got them to do something good out of this? To help someone out…”

So I added something to my post. I want to challenge everyone to post their silly pictures to post embarrassing photos of them selves showing a joyful, youthful exuberance. Along with that to donate funds or time to volunteer for a charity or non profit organization of their choosing. This is the type of challenge I think we need. Something that gives at least two reasons to smile. The silly photos and the smiles from those receiving assistance. Its a challenge I can get behind. So I am.

I want to officially declare “The Young and Childish Challenge” is open to all. If you are brave… Let me see your silly faces, your crazy costumes, Your embarrassing hair and corny clothing. I want to see those great smiles and playful gestures. Then I want to see your commitment to the challenge. Help those in need volunteer time or a donation to a charity. Since this is “The Young and Childish Challenge” lets focus on charities or organizations that help and support the youth. We are gonna need the youth of today to be great tomorrow so let us help to do our part to make it happen.

The rules are:

  1. Post a picture featuring you in a fun “young and or childish state of mind” on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Google+ etc.
  2. Use one or all of the hashtags: #YoungandChildishChallenge #YACChallenge #YoungAndChildish
  3. Find a Charity/non-profit supporting youth/children and volunteer time and/or Make a donation.
  4. Tag your family and friends to challenge them to do the same and make a commitment.

I have researched organizations and charities and I have chosen that my next one that I will be donating and volunteering to assist will be The Alexander Youth Network. The Alexander Youth Network is an organization that supports and provides programs for children with emotional and behavioral challenges. This is an area that kind of hits close and it helps children so I felt it was a right fit. For more information please click on the link above and check out other programs below.

Lets make this go viral! Lets get the world in on it and see how much we can do for the youth and the future of our planet!

Volunteering

Give back to the children. For them and for us.

We Can Be Heroes

Feed The Children

Boys and Girls Club

Save The children

St. Judes

Make A Wish Foundation

Salvation Army: Center of Hope

Volunteer

Volunteer

X-Man Talks X-Men (Warning!! Spoilers!!)

So it has been almost a week since X-MEN: Days of Future Past has been released. I figured I’d give my opinion or thoughts on the movie. So here comes the The Xavion factor on the latest X-Men Movie. I first want to say that I enjoyed the movie because the following may give some the impression that I didn’t. I enjoyed the movie as a stand alone movie based solely on movie making merits. With that said, I did have my issues with the movie as: An X-Men movie, a movie in the current series/cinematic universe and a superhero movie.

I’ll start with the last one. I consider this a comic book movie but not really a superhero movie. For me a superhero movie should be fun and flashy and showcase amazing uses of abilities, stretching, learning and growing with those abilities. Probably most importantly doing superheroish things. Superhero movies are fun. I think I’d consider the first X-Men the closest to a super hero movie. Even the dreaded X-3 was fun. I actually enjoyed the battle at the end when Wolverine led the X-Men into battle against Magneto. I just love seeing a superhero team come together and into a lineup to fight against an an enemy. My favorite scene from that movie was that scene when they all show up to protect Leech. X-Men:DOFP was exciting at parts and I think my favorite part was the use of quicksilver although I do think they made him a bit faster than he is in the comics.  Overall the movie felt more of a dramatic action film. The focus didn’t seem to be on fun but on message. This brings me to my next point.

As an X-Men movie, I just didn’t like the film. This film does a good job of pulling a story out of a plan to reboot the X-Men movie universe. The story was really good but did not really fit with X-Men mythos. The movie was more of a spinoff than an X-Men movie. The makers decided to make the film focus on the new age stars of Jackman, McAvoy, Fassbender, and Lawrence. This was less of an X-Men movie and more of a Them movie guest starring the X-Men in cameos. We all understand that Wolverine is the most popular of all X-Men. The entire series has felt like a Wolverine series with the exception of First Class. He was a main focal point which led to deficiencies in character development of the other X-Men. Cyclops was under developed as a leader and his importance to the team (Did anyone even mourn him in X-3?). Jean Grey’s story and background seemed rushed. Rouge was forgettable and not very charismatic. Storm wasn’t played up to potential in the sheer magnitude of the character. Storm is an extremely powerful mutant. There were several fan favorites that only made brief appearances and were either poorly done not nearly enough was done with what they had. There’s also the deviations from source material. Where the hell does Shadow cat get the ability of sending someones mind back in time? Not only is this an ability created for this movie but it is never explained how she does this or where it came from. I would think that would be an ability the most powerful telepath on the planet would have. It would have made more sense for Xavier to have had this ability. I suppose that the creators wanted to give a nod to the original story line by making Shadowcat integral to the Days of Future past story. It was poorly done though. Also going back through the whole franchise there were instances that strayed. From the costume design to the description of Phoenix being a dissociative identity of Jean Grey’s mind instead of a separate entity. Also the fact that several Character relationships are never mentioned or explored. Some of them even make it unlikely or complete disagreement with comic. I hated that Havoc, the YOUNGER brother of Cyclops was an original X-Men member and Cyclops wasn’t. Other relationships never mentioned or hinted at; Mystique and Rouge, Mystique and NightCrawler, Xavier and Juggernaut, Magneto and Quiksilver were only slightly hinted at.  Ever since I was young I have enjoyed the parallels or down right symbolism of X-Men and the Civil rights movement. Professor X paralleling with Martin Luther King and Magneto with Malcolm X. It was so cool to me the day I linked it in my mind as a kid in elementary school.  The entire series played well on that with them up until this movie. This movie kind of felt less of a battle between ideologies and more of you hurt me and took away my friends difference between the two. The rift seems to have felt to have been caused by Mystique rather than the way to handle mutants in the world or even (YOU PARALYZED ME!!). Also beast cures paralysis but only by taking away Xaviers powers? I think there could have been some permanent cure for that developed at some point.

In connecting this movie to the series as a whole, I feel the development team came up short. Sure it was linked back to all the other movies but the whole time I was watching it just felt as if it was separated from everything except First Class.  This was mostly due to unexplained plot holes and character changes. The first of which I already mentioned being Kitty’s new powers. Then there’s the fact that Wolverine Miraculously has his adamantium claws back when at the end of  The Wolverine they were removed from him. Professor X being back in his body (There was a scene in X-3 that suggested that he transferred his consciousness into another body.). Then there is the whole Wolverine/Striker relationship That this movie went on to reference but not really make it seem like it was the same William Striker. Also if Mystique was captured and her DNA was used to create these sentinels that we see in the future. When did she get released? And why does she seem like a completely different character? Then there’s toad who’s character doesn’t fit with the toad from the first X-Men. The there’s the case of the Black Trask from X3 vs The Dwarf Trask from this movie. Many of these Plot holes can have been easily acknowledged with a simple line or 2 but they complete forgo it and say deal with it. All it makes me think is that this is a stand alone movie just focusing on rebooting an Xmen franchise. One that I’m not sure can come up with a compelling enough story to continue. Honestly, It is Okay to make an X-Men film without Magneto. The end of every X-Men film outside of the Wolverine movies ends with The X-Men fighting Magneto. 3 of the 5 of them had him working with them up until the final act. The end of DOFP shows them basically resetting the X-Men franchise, restoring Professor X, Jean Grey and Cyclops. This doesn’t tell how the changes in the past affect this but throws it in there anyway.

In all, as I said I enjoyed the movie but strictly as and action/sci-fi/drama. Making it fit in with the X-Men comics or even the past movies required too much. It’s like the creators basically said “Here! You make up your own parts of the movie to go with what we give you because we don’t feel like filling in holes. “. Then “Look at this great new crop of actors that we have here and focus on them and forget about the 3 plus movies worth of characters you invested in. but we will throw them in just for novelty sake.”  I rather them have done a clean reboot like Spider-Man but I suppose this will work as well. We will see how Apocalypse comes about. If they ignore almost everything from the past of the franchise it can be great. I think there should be another movie in between or at least a 2 part to Apocalypse.  The first part should feature Xavier recruiting the original X-Men (Cyclops, Jean, Storm, Beast, Angel, etc.). They should face off against a disciple like Mr. Sinister as hes preparing for Apocalypse(Maybe even throw Cable in there). This way they can build up interest and develop these characters in a better way than they did with the first 3 movies. Then the next Movie should show the coming of Apocalypse. Let’s make that the epic X-Men/Superhero movie we have been waiting for.

Yes, That's  Jim Lee X-Men art

Yes, That’s Jim Lee X-Men art

 

The Dark Knight Returns

So almost everyone knows how much I love comics and superheroes and geek culture altogether. Most people know that I love Batman and think he’s the best hero in comics. I have always been a DC fan over a Marvel fan but I love both of them. I had been really excited about Marvels Cinematic Universe that they had created. It was something that I had always looked forward to when I was a young kid reading comics. A movie universe where multiple superheroes could meet and interact with each other and team up to take out great and many villains. It was dream come true when Marvel created this. Its one of the reasons I loved Avengers so much it was a culmination and realization of childhood fantasy. After… All I had wanted was for DC  and my favorite superheroes to have their chance and their own cinematic universe.

When the Man of Steel came about, I had hoped it would begin that process. I was hoping there would be a post credits scene showing Batman in his cave watching the destruction of Metropolis. They could have easily done just a shot from behind and didn’t need to have an actor signed for the role.  Now, I had my issues with Man of Steel. I didn’t care much for the way parts of the story played out. I thought the fact that Lois figuring out who Superman was was tasteless and takes away from future stories and great interaction between Clark and Lois. Also had a problem with The whole Johnathan Kent character. I love Henry Cavil as superman though. I think he fits the part well.  I did enjoy the movie though. It was fun and I thought a franchise would have potential.

Then came ComicCon and that changed the world… The Man of Steel Sequel would feature Batman. I FUCKING EXPLODED with excitement. This was what I had been waiting for. This was going to be the amazing and the most exciting superhero movie ever. I was so excited.. I even came up with an entire plot and synopsis for the movie. I was hoping that Chris Bale would come back but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t happen for a number of reasons. Chris Nolan’s batman didn’t really seem to fit in this Man of Steel Universe. Bale also had already discussed not returning to the character after as well. Also the way Nolans Trilogy ended it kind of left it alone to itself. So with Bale out we all Speculated on who would be next to don the cowl. I personally loved the idea of Karl Urban. I felt Dredd was a pretty good audition. Well few months later I took a shot to the heart. They made the announcement that they would be casting Ben Affleck as Batman. I don’t hate Affleck. I just really hate him for this role. It will be hard to suspend belief and accept him in this role because he is Ben Affleck. Also I’m not sure he’d be able to pull off the Batman badass that we know and love. Batman is a deeper character than we’ve seen in past and I think Nolan and Bale had come closest to getting him right. Although Burton’s was really good as well. So I had my reservations and I thought. It could still work with a great story. I think that Affleck if he was dedicated enough could be a surprise. But the casting already gave me worry about the direction of this franchise.

The next thing that bothered me was that they scheduled the movie for 2015 release. I just knew there was no way they could make this movie great and meet that timeline. I guess WB agreed and decided to push the movie back a year. Then it was announced that the working title was Batman vs Superman. I HATED it. I don’t want that to be the case at all. If they do go at it in the movie it should be a 5 minute petty fight scene. While they focus on a bigger threat at hand. (again I told you I had a whole story planned.) They next report that they had cast Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. I dont have a huge problem with this casting. I thought she was too much on the slimmer side and Im not sure how well her acting is having only seen her in the Fast 5. This bothered me because it again felt like they were rushing a Justice league movie into existence. The thing that worked so well for The Avengers was time. Almost every character had their own movie or significant time in another movie so that when they came together they can all share their screen time and their solo time on screen felt like enough. We got to know these characters as individuals and see them form a team and how the team fit each of them. WB seems to have ignored this part of the Success. We still barely know this Superman and then a bunch of Characters and personalities we know nothing about are about to join him.

That leads me to my next  casting choice. Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. I love Eisenberg. I think he’s a good actor and can play a number of roles. My problem with this casting is the direction of the character. They are making Lex a young street tough genius mogul. My whole thing is okay its pretty established LexCorp is huge in the first movie. You now have to explain this as what some young kid created a hit website  and became a mogul? Lex is supposed to be a super genius. He should have years of philanthropy and scientific breakthroughs under his belt something that actually makes him feel threatened by this alien. I just find it hard to believe that this young urban kid would hate someone like superman. Granted the first movie gave about $100 billion worth of reasons to hate him. It just seems weird they would go in that direction.

This brings me to the latest in the story. The Batman suit and Batmobile. Let me just say… I LOVE IT. This is the first thing that has gotten me excited again since they announced Batman was going to be in the movie. The suit gives it a comic book feel. It is obviously based on the costume from Frank Miller’s “The Dark Knight Returns”It gives the movie a Comic book feel. This Batman looks like he was ripped straight from the pages of a comic or graphic novel. With the muscle definition exaggeration and all. The Batmobile also takes on that feeling as well. I dont know what I was expecting prior to this photo but I definitely am not unhappy with this look at all. Now its feeling like Batman is in this fantastical world where men can fly Aliens do battle and a man can run faster than the speed of light.

I love the costume option. It is very Comic Book Inspired.

I love the costume option. It is very Comic Book Inspired.

 

This brings back some of the excitement I first had. I just hope for a great story. I hope they are true to character from the comics. The fact that this Batman hasn’t been in a movie before gives more importance to the need to  make him the Batman fans know and love. Batman is essential to the Justice League and he will need to be integral in this franchise for it to be successful. He will have to be the genius tactician. The no fear take no shit, stand up and put everyone else in their place Batman. He will have to be the master detective, master Martial artists insanely disciplined hero that makes the character so amazing. If they can get this right and follow suit with the other heroes this movie and franchise will surpass the Avengers. These characters are top of the rung and will always be so above the Marvel characters. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman. They are the first images of superheroes in peoples minds. Getting this right will make them successful.

 

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Love?

So you all will have to bear with me a moment. I’m going to have a “Mushy” moment. I’m a single man. There’s a reason for it obviously. I have met my share of women of all forms and shapes and types. I know people look at me and say “You’re a great guy” and expect me to be in a relationship or at least dating more than I have been. I am a hard working, dedicated, humble, and attractive man. I don’t know if every woman I know realizes that but thats not necessarily for me to be concerned with. I also don’t feel that I should have to promote it. I feel the proper woman will notice and love and appreciate it. That isn’t what this blog is about. This one is about how I feel about love.

I know its popular to shun love. Its a headache and causes pain and stress. While that may be partly true, the other side of it is so amazing. I honestly welcome love. That person that can make nothing seem like absolutely everything. I would love to be with that woman that I can talk to without saying a word. I want my love to be spoken in every language not spoken. I want to communicate with our own gestures. I want to hold intimate conversations with physical touch. Tell inside jokes with with small looks and smiles. AND SMILES… I don’t know if theres a greater feeling than being in love with someone who is so in love with me that she has the biggest grin from ear to ear because of me. My love should embrace her and she should wear it. She should dress in it and it should look amazing on her. My love will be a glowing gown that she will proudly dress in and show off.

Love is a risk but its a beautiful risk and feeling. To be in love is to truly feel weightless. People use the term “fall in love” but I know having that person that you make smile just by simply being you and loving her feels like Im flying. Like filled with so much positive energy power that you just soar off the ground. To have that person that you think about and just smile is shot of adrenaline to push you to the highest heights. When you touch it feels right like when two wires cross and complete a circuit. you’re no longer two but one. You’re so close you almost share minds. You share jokes with each other that you know that you will both laugh at. When your love is there, you JUST KNOW!

Being in love is tough. Being in love is going away from your mate and then loving when you come back because it is the bonus end to your trip. Being in love is being right next to that person but because you can’t romantically be with them they feel a billion miles away. Even when they completely piss you off and you walk away you wouldn’t rather have anyone else do it and you don’t want to be away too long. You’re best friends. You’re a match. It feels right. When you love truly you realize that you don’t sacrifice for that person because you realize they are the most important person to you.

I have been in love. I have experienced loving everything about her, even what I hadn’t before. Even what made me mad. I am able to love and appreciate her tenacity or stubbornness or self-consciousness. Love is finding what would be flaws and falling in love with them. When looking at others she isn’t as attractive because she doesn’t have those beautiful flaws. My love was always built on shared experience. I love when we can spend a night just hanging around watching an old shared favorite or discovering a new favorite feels like the time of your life.

Some people run from love. Ill embrace it and I’ll know when it is there. Im single until it is there. I don’t take it lightly. I’ll be here when it finds me or I find it. I feel like I still haven’t accurate expressed all of my feelings or opinions on love but true love would have me writing this forever. Thats what true love is a never ending series of new stories and experiences.

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